So you should know by now that I had children, yes, plural as in two. And I love my kids dearly, I wouldn’t have life any other way. But my body has gone though something that has changed its shape and size. I am working out to tighten my tummy, and yes it is jiggly due to having kids 16 months apart. Clearly not enough time between kids for my body to heal and go back to normal.

Clearly gravity is winning and it seems as if my body has thrown in the white flag of surrender. It has been 20 months after my second daughter and my body is not changing anymore. My waist is getting smaller slowly, like turtles walking through peanut butter slow but it’s working there. I have cut my food intake down to about half of what I would eat, which includes snacks. Snacking was my favorite part of being pregnant, man did that stupid bitch come bite me back. And hard. I use my husbands bow-flex when I can figure out how to work that med-evil device. I swear it is better for holding the clothing baskets than to use, but I do use it. And that machine is the devil, because it laughs and laughs at me attempt to use it. Clearly this machine was made for men and men only. That should be put on the label, and it should be the first thing listed then how to use the machine. Bow-flex of hell I am no longer your friend. You shall now and forever hold the laundry baskets.

And my butt and thighs are not wanting to join in, but I will be changing that soon. I have always thought my ass was my best body part besides my boobs. But no gravity is now your friend and those pants that help shape your butt and thighs are my friend. Yes, I have sadly become that mom, spanks and corsets and what ever else that is invented to hold your body in the place it use to be, are now my friends. And, I need at least a five hour heads up if my husband wants sex, don’t want him to feel the marks from my hidden helpers. But sometimes he sees them and smiles, I know he loves my body before, during and after kids, but I am only okay with it.

The worst offender are my boobs! They have disappeared into my torso and are staying hidden until I am assuming till hell freezes over. But many women go under the knife to make themselves have a more womanly figure before kids, I just am thinking a 35th birthday gift. But knowing myself I would have a million better uses for money. I know one day my body will be how I want it, and I will be happier but for now I will be okay with my body and long for the days when I was beating gravity and had the spare time to go to the gym, go for a run and have time to myself. Now just to go get milk I have to pack a diaper bag for two girls, my purse, and god knows what else I will need.

Motherhood I feel is much worse then puberty.

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