When my children hit a certain age I noticed that they didn’t need me anymore as much. I felt something inside that didn’t feel right. I talked to my husband about it and we couldn’t figure out what it was. So I tried new things to try to pull out my funk, I could do my daily things but it was a hard struggle, harder than I have ever faced. Nothing seemed to help, so I talked to my mother and she said it sounded like I might have depression. I called and made an appointment with my doctor and we talked about a lot of things. Turns out I had a mild case of depression, not what I wanted to hear. It seemed like my mind was against my dream life and needed to be heard, or so I thought.

Zoloft was the answer, not a high dose just enough to push away this little grey cloud that kept following me around. It seemed to help but something was missing, something that I should be doing. Arts and crafts helped but not by much, I needed something bigger. Not sure what but I found it after three months of searching. I needed time away from my family to be alone, not like party late at night or anything that could harm my family. Something meaningful.

A job, something where I could be alone, miss my family and appreciate them when I get back. My job is very part time (8 hours a week), I work as an independent cleaning contractor, and it is a blessing. I still take my medication when just not daily like I was prescribed, it is more of an every other day sort of thing. I would have never in a million years thought that what I needed was something so small. 

I know that my paycheck won’t pay a huge chuck of bills but it helps every month here and there. Not only have I noticed that it helped me with keeping my house up to par (not perfect) but it has raised my spirits and made me feel happier. The greatest bonus is from all this work and moving around it has doubled as a work out plan.

 

So if you feel like something is off. check in with your doctor. You never know until you seek help and it is not a bad thing to do.

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