Time wasted on nothingness

Nothing seemed so important to me than my cell phone. It was everything clock, contact with people and boredom fixer. All of us read about how technology is sucking away our lives and we don’t even notice it. There were plenty of media coverage and blogs that stated how we depend on our technology so much more now that everything is in arms reach. What happened to face to face conversations and the old fashion letters that we use to look forward to? Many of us have traded a large part of our time and connection to another human being for something that is instant and seemed like it helps our friendships.

I decided that on Sunday January 25 that I would turn my cell phone off, I didn’t cancel my account I simply powered down my cell. And guess what, I have more time for things and spend more time with my family. Face to face time seemed almost new to me, I realized that I am in fact missing out on important things in my family’s life. It has only been about three days and I can say that yes it was hard not to log onto all my social media sites and see what people were doing. But today I noticed that I just don’t care. Many of the social sites I belong to were always full of people venting out their issues, calling out someone who did them wrong, or some silly link to another website for something that they considered funny. But I think about it now and really it is a media site full of people who are giving up on real relationships for ones that satisfies them instantly. I am tired of that, I had many ‘friends’ and ‘followers’ on my social media sites but I only really knew about 10 of them personally.

Now I know going cell phone less seems like a challenge but I do carry it still for safety reasons, however, it sits in my purse shut off but charged. Being able to get a hold of people instantly was hard to give up the first day or so but today I enjoy the silence of my house. I spend time with my girls, clean my house and am able to remember who I was before that little machine took over a part in my life. I am happy with my choice to be without my cell for a week. I don’t really care that Sunday is coming up and I will be turning it back on, but my new rule will be to power down that little sucker at 6 pm every day. But I know for a fact that just like social media not a lot of people would message my cell phone to see what I am doing, because nobody cares. Like on social media sites nobody really cares they just give the illusion that they care because it makes them feel better.

I have gone back to a schedule that I had before the cell phone was by my side. I have realized that I need to find my watch, but times seems to still pass as before, it would just help if I didn’t have to search for a clock to figure out the time. I actually watch television shows now; I pay attention and follow along. I caught myself watching a show that I thought I would never watch before because social media didn’t have any influence on my choice anymore. It didn’t matter if someone thought this show sucked or was boring, I like it. Without the constant opinions of others to sway how I make choices on what I want to watch or wear I am able to be the individual I was growing up. I just don’t care if someone dislikes the shows I like, I don’t care if they are negative. These so called friends aren’t in my life now because neither they nor I made a step towards the friendship.

I have time for me, I can knit if I want, or bake or my favorite just sit and drink my tea and look around at my life and find myself completely satisfied that I have in fact accomplished half of my dream of being a Mom. The dream it not done yet, for I am still living it.

Official Preschooler

Well I did it, more like we did it. It was Gabby’s official first day of school and it was the full day. We did the half day where I was with her and she got to try out preschool and she didn’t even notice that I was there. But today was the whole day, well she goes in the morning and she made it. No accidents or anything, I am so proud. Granted that I was positive she would want to go home early or need me to come and hover around. But she was a perfect student.

I guess I have to face the fact that my little girl is growing up and doesn’t need to hold my hand anymore. I know that at times she will need me and I will be there waiting, hoping it is sooner than later. People say to not count your chickens before they hatch, but I this case I think that it is okay. The only reason I know this is because SHE wanted to go to preschool, SHE was ready. I wish I was in the same boat but luckily her little sister can distract me.

Parts of me do look forward to when both my girls will be in preschool and I will have my own time. But then there is a little twinge inside of me that knows when that day happens I will have to figure out what to do with myself. I have already started to look into taking online classes to finish my degree, or maybe find a part time job, depending on what the girls schedule is like.

As my children grow parts of me feel lost and left behind, however, parts of me rejoice that they are coming into their own. Parenthood is a pull and push of many emotions and feelings that no one prepares you for. There is no book out there to help you deal with how you feel, you can ask your own parents and they smile, give you advice and think back to when you were a child. And that is what life is, experiencing things first hand and figuring out what path to take and hoping that you made the right choice.

I know now that my child will grow up and experience life and not want to hold my hand, or have me close by; but when they do, I will be there, with open arms and a heart full of love. Always and forever they will be my babies and I just want to love them and help them every day. 

“La Cantina,” Bobby’s Dry dock

Bobby’s Dry Dock

7876 Birch Bay Dr., Birch Bay

Restaurant owner, Bobby Christoffer is a long-time icon in Birch Bay. He started the former Dry Dock Restaurant – first located on the water down the street, then directly across the street in ‘the old house’…and now, after four years as “La Cantina,” Bobby’s Dry dock is back! Come by for a great meal, a beer from our great variety on tap, to try your luck at pull tabs, sing a little karaoke… or just to visit with the locals. We look forward to seeing you!!

This made me excited for when we moved to Birch Bay and there was a bar that was close (not to close) that we could go to, but boy I have been so wrong about that, 4 years of trying to figure out what the hell WE did to be treated like shit every time we went out to have fun and kick back.

This is many things you would find describing Bobby’s Dry dock, yet when you want to have a nice evening with friends sometimes you are treated differently as if nobody cares how the customers feel. I will start with the first time I was removed for this establishment, I was being SEXUALLY HARASSED by another patron and myself and my husband asked the man to stop to no avail, so I told the bouncer (who was more into his cell phone games than helping a paying customer) and his reply was I should enjoy the attention. I said that if I have to handle the problem myself then I will, sadly a few minutes later I had to. This other man (more like pig-scumbag dick head) SLAPPED my ass, so my response was that if he touches me again I will hurt him. He slapped my ass again and I proceeded to smash a beer bottle on his face (problem solved or so I thought), this is when the bouncer finally decided to do something and physically remove me. (I mean really dick head you refused to help me in the first place and now you want to help, nope you are welcomed with my knee shoved firmly into your pelvic region and I felt my knee bone hit bone and hard {thanks dad for teaching me that}.) I was able to remove myself from this so called bouncer and then run after and attack the sexual asshole again and proceed to kick the living shit out of him for about two minutes before my husband pulled me from the building. I found out later it took 5 men to hold back my husband from harming that so called man and  7 to catch and hold myself so I could me removed (one being my husband).

The second time I was told to leave (noticed told and not taken outside by force) was many  months later, I was 6 months pregnant which meant I was the DD, and I didn’t mind the deal was buy me food and some soda and I will be happy. So I was sitting at a table near the back, exactly next to the restroom (I could not only smell the bathroom I could hear people use it, I am sure there is some rule about that somewhere), and my husband ordered his drinks and my sprite and orange juice with the deluxe nachos with fresh made guacamole (heaven for a pregnant woman like me). I was sitting with my friends (6 of us, me included) who were drinking and we were all talking to each other and we all only had one drink (well they had one drink I had not touched mine yet, food first at the time) and the bartender came over and told us that we are cut off from more beer and we need to leave because I (me the pregnant one was making a scene). I said there must be some mistake because we have only been here for maybe 45 minutes and only had a one beer each and I am not drinking at all. This older bartender looked me straight in the face and yelled ” I can not serve you alcohol due to you being pregnant”, (yes you old sagging titted bitch who has more wrinkles than Shar Pei, I would love to endanger my child’s life with you shitty ass beer) I told her in a calm voice that I am the DD I my drink is only sprite and o.j and that she made it for me. Her face became red and then said that if I left than my friends could stay. I said sure and that I would be back at midnight to pick up my friends and left.

The final and last time my family was asked to leave was when my husband took out his friends for a good time. This being said he had not gone out in over a year, so there should be no bad blood from Bobby’s and everyone can be civil. Oh boy was I wrong, over three years the same bartender girls have been treating this place like it’s their own high school and they are the queens. But the problem for kicking out people who have done nothing wrong can have major effects. My husband is a calm person and is nice until provoked. And these bartender Mean Girls have something out for our family and anyone we are with. I mean being there for an hour just sitting and eating food doing nothing but chatting with people and being friendly helping make somebody happy and what happens? BAM! Kicked out, what for? Asked the bouncer he said he didn’t know, asked other people and they said he did NOTHING, he was just chilling and doing NOTHING, taking up space at the bar eating a drinking. Until the same bartender who told me I had to leave had some problem and kicked out my husband. I am not saying that this person has a problem with our family but it seems every time we go there it is THE SAME BARTENDER telling us we are causing a scene, being too loud or being rude and needs to leave. This same bartender told us we can’t come on the property due to a restraining order, um sweetheart we weren’t send papers I called the police station and they looked for months and nothing, so you need to stop running business away from your boss’s place and suck up what ever problem you have and be an adult about it and serve the drinks and take you tips.

So Bobby’s Dry Dock or La Cantina what ever the fuck you call yourself, we and all our friends will no longer be going to your shitty place for a good time. We will take our hard earned money and spend it at the Past Time or The Wheel House or go down a block and visit your rivals and spend our money there.wordpressblogimage


What do you do when your friend is making choices that you are not happy with?
Do you let them make the choices that you feel are leading them down the wrong path?
Do you tell them that they gave up to easily and should try harder?

I was taught that if you are not happy with someone choices you just let them know that “if they are happy, then I am happy for you”, but sometimes I just want to grab them by the face and tell them they are making a bad choice. Life is hard and sometimes all you have to do is try harder. I have not been in the same position as them but I know that the choice they are making is not right. Nor do I have the right to interfere.

I was the only person to tell them to try and make it work, and they need to wait and see. The changes that they needed to make would not take a day or two to see changes. It takes at least a while for that change to take place, but giving up is not the right choice. Granted other people just said to cut her ties and move on, but there is always feelings that need to be taken into consideration. Not just theirs, everyone involved in that relationship will be affected.

It took them a while to get to where they were and running away and starting over is just the easy way out. Sure new things are exciting and fun, and getting new attention is nice but in the end not all the glitters is gold. They are a rare and special person and the one who choose to continue their life with them discovered that, but when both parties are being stressed and put under conditions that neither of them have ever been in before it is wisest to stay and try to work out the problems together, than run away and start over.

I just feel lost and I know the person I am talking about might also be lost, there are just to many temptations around and I can not defeat them. I just wish they were a strong as I know they are and try to make things work before giving up and starting over with some one new.